So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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