I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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