Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
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