He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
