theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
