That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
