Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I made him laugh his dick is mine
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
