IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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