I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
