I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
oh god the rape fog is back!
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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