if only i could text you this smell
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
