how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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