do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Randomize
