Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(212): View more from New York

R you on birth control?

(1-212): View more from New York

No, why?

(212): View more from New York

...no reason

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(210): View more from Texas

I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.

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(301): View more from Maryland

the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"

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(214): View more from Texas

I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(856): View more from New Jersey

When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.

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(714): View more from California

I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister

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(818): View more from California

Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.

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(801): View more from Utah

I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.

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(510): View more from California

Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.

(650): View more from California

Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.

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