I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
31 People Admit To Nasty Things They Do On The Reg
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...