help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
