i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
