sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
this just has baby written all over it
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND