Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
