Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
