so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
i think im in europe. pls send help
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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