you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
