So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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