no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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