I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have started to decorate penises.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize