im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I smell stomach acid.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
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my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
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