i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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