I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
only you would photoshop your dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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