By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
