i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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