fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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