There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
