So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize
