I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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