so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
