dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
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