i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
