If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
We had to coat check the pizza.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Randomize
