Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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