I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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