If i come over, it means nothing
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
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