my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Randomize
