wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
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