Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Randomize
