I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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