I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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