Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
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I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
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At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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