I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
