1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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