You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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