i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
