ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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