Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
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