I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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