My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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