I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
