i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
