Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Randomize
