how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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