I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
