I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
