so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
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