I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
