i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
what the fuck happened to the tacos
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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