People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
