you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize
