Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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