i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
