I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
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Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
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I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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