the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
