What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
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