38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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