you're like a bully in the Christmas story
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
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I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
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dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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