if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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