i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
